I wish people would just say how they are feeling.

Happiness

I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I'm having so much fun being a CA. I love doing things with my ladies! It's a blast and I love it.

Last night I hung out with my friend Veronica. :) She is a great person, she is really nice. She curled my hair and I curled her. We talk about boys and how confusing they are. We ranted about how stupid the song, "All the Single Ladies" was. (Or more like, I did and she stood there and laughed)

I try to remember the days when I was unhappy and when I did not have friends. I do remember, it just seems so surreal. Like a really bad dream. I have moved on in my life and I love the person I have become.

I love me, I love my body, I love my friends, I love my job.

I'm bursting with being happy. I'm stressed out, I'm frustrated, but I am still happy. I am not the miserable 16 year old girl anymore. I really feel like I put my past behind me.

Speaking of my past, I don't cry when I start thinking about it. Some parts make me momentarily sad but I do not have to close my door when I think about it. I think about it, reflect on how far I come and move on. No tears, no I wish it didn't happen to me, nothing. Just a good reflection on my life and my accomplishments.

I feel like my life is going somewhere good and that I am going to help people. I feel like my 12 year old self is proud of me (Finally).

My weeks are getting fuller and fuller. I love my ladies. I love the way people look at me and treat me. They all have questions. I answer them as best as I can.

I'm looking forward to all of my classes. I feel like I am going to learn so much this year. I am very excited. I can't wait! My favorite class is probably womens studies, but that is probably because Beth is teaching it.

Overall, I know this is going to be a great year. I have a lot to do and little time but I know I am going to love it!

My New Neighbors

My ladies are amazing. They all want to do so much to help make this a community and I have a feeling it is going to be a great year.

As for the rest, I am really excited for my life this year.

More to come

SAVE THIS RESTAURANT

PLEASE IF YOU LIVE IN THE TWIN CITIES AREA! DONATE DONATE DONATE!

Dear Friends,

I want to introduce you to two amazing women.

Shegitu Kebede, http://shegitukebede.com, (winner of the McKnight Humanitarian Award) and Frewoini Hailei are co-owners of the East African restaurant, Flamingo in St. Paul. You may or may not know them - if not, then I hope you will meet them soon. Their stories are powerful. Shegi is an author and wrote about her experiences in a book called "Hidden Scars, Visible Strengths", a moving account of her journey to safety as a refugee women that I encourage you all to read. Both women are powerful examples of beauty, faith, strength and courage.

I'm writing today on their behalf - to ask for your help.

Due to a unforeseen circumstances, they may have to close the doors of the restaurant by the end of this week - which would be a great loss to all of us. Not only because we would lose a wonderful restaurant but because the restaurant has a much greater purpose.

Shegi and Fre opened the Flamingo with a powerful vision in mind - to help refugee women transform their stories of suffering and loss into stories of triumph and healing. As refugee women themselves, they know first hand, the challenges of having left behind all they knew and loved to start a new life in an unfamiliar country.They understand the journey of healing that is needed to move from a place of unimaginable pain, loss and abuse to one of contentment, peace and strength. The restaurant is simply a vehicle to reach that goal.

Why are Shegi and Fre in need of your help today?

Back in June, the restaurant experienced an electrical surge in the system that originated from somewhere else in the city. The result was that they lost all of the restaurants major appliances (fridge, ice maker, oven fans, air conditioner, etc). Unable to keep the restaurant open, they closed for three days - spending their reserves to replace all the food that was lost and fix or purchase new equipment.

With insurance in place they were confident that they would be back on track in no time. Unfortunately, this was not the case. Excel Energy said they were unable to compensate them for their loses - surges happen and they're out of their control. Their insurance company said they were not responsible - it was "an act of God". They did everything right . . . getting insurance, working hard, contributing to and reenergizing the community in which they are located, creating a beautiful vision for improving the lives of refugee women and more - and yet, the system failed them.

With their reserves gone and the insurance company turning down their claim - they are up against the wall. And to top things off, many of the patrons that frequent the restaurant, who would love to help, are fasting with the month of Ramadan and are not eating during daylight hours.

What can we do this week?

1. Visit the restaurant this week and bring a friend(s) to enjoy a wonderful East African meal.
2. Pass this e-mail on to friends who can share this with more friends or get the word out on Facebook.
3. Have a meeting at the restaurant this week.
4. Buy Gift Certificates for those you appreciate.
5. Have a party!
6. Visit the restaurant and let them know you support they're vision.
7. Order take-out for the office!! Flamingo can deliver.
8. Make a donation.
9. Celebrate your unBirthday!
10. Keep Shegi and Fre in your thoughts and prayers.

Our immediate goal.

1. To raise a total of $1200 by Friday, August, 20th (that would be approx. 35 people a day)
2. To raise an additional $1900 by the end of the month

Additional thoughts . . .

Radio interview with Shegitu about her book and her vision of hope and healing for other refugee women who have suffered through the trauma of war and oppression. TV exposure?

Any other thoughts or ideas are welcome. Once they meet this goal they will be back on track and able to continue building their vision. Together we can create the bridge they need to continue with the amazing work they are committed to doing.

Thank you and feel free to call with questions: 612-860-5658

Love,
Mona

Him.

I realized today that I still really liked him. really. really. really.

and I don't know what to do about it.

Hope

That's what I have everyday of my life.

It's been five training days and I am overjoyed with what I have learned so far! My team is amazing and I can't wait to get to know everyone of them!

Today, I met a guy I have been looking at the gym. That sounds creepy, but he is there when I am, everytime. We have the same workout schedules. I guess.

He said that he often saw me with my boyfriend. He was talking about Nick. After I corrected him, saying he is 'just a friend'. He kept talking to me. Cute boys are hard to come by and I like to talk to them. Especially when they are nice.

Two Days Down, 12 to Go

Oh it's been a busy two and a half days.

I started my Community Advisor training. It has been good but exhausting. Yesterday was so hot and we speeded through room condition reports as fast as we could.

My co-CA is awesome though. So nice...I'm glad I got someone as cool as her. We have been doing crafts like non-stop.

We had a team building day and I feel so close to all these people in this building. I love all my brothers and sisters! They are all so awesome! We have a wonderful team and we are going to have a wonderful time this year. I can feel it.

So I have two days of training done and I have twelve more to go. whew. It is going to be a busy couple of days. But worth it!!! If it goes as well as it has been.

I have to go review policies!

Summer has arrived and ended...

Well I had a good two days of summer.

Since I had classes all this summer, (I had a week break from spring semester to summer intersession, but since no one was home from college. I do not call that a "break".) this was the first weekend with out "classes" to worry about.

I went to my cabin. I was so excited to go. Thursday class went by uberslow and I was finally able to hit the road (After major packing up of the dorm....YAY.) at 5:30. However, I didn't actually get on the road until about 6:30. The ride was painless until I was about an hour away...my car radio doesn't work once we get out of big cities...so I was stuck with Steve Greens Christmas songs as a tape. Lets just say, three times through and I was ready to march to Steve Greens' house and show him how to really sing...with a bullet.

I was joking back there, I do not want to kill Steve Green. But I would like to kill that tape.

But the last hour, I turned off the music and sang to myself. I really hope someone saw me because really, that is me at my best moments. I even put the car on cruise and drove with my knees while I gave myself a hand puppet show.

I finally arrived there at 9:15pm. Speeding on that dirt road before my cabin was the hardest thing I will probably ever do. :p My dad was in his workshop in the garage and he said, "Hannah, I've been waiting for you." And we did the whole, lets chat about life but not get in to details thing we have down pat, have since 2004.

I ran down there, so excited to see everybody.

My mom was asleep, almost comatose on the couch. My aunt reading a book. And everybody else? On the couch watching Monsters Inc. I barely got a hello.

But we ended up staying up pretty late, talking about life. I only see this wonderful family every year at the beginning of August and I feel like this year I changed a ton....I am a happier person and I wanted to show it off.

Friday and Saturday went by super quickly. We swam across the lake and tie dyed. And watched another movie and went home.

Now I am sitting in my kitchen with the older girls around me. It is sad that I won't see them until next year after today. Kathryn is so cynical at 15, it makes me cry with laughter. Nicole has also changed a lot her first year in college but she is still the same obnoxious (in a good way) girl she has always been. Rebekah is still teeny tiny for her 9 years of life and joy she has. She really is my little pet, she follows me around everywhere and asks for my opinion on everything.

I went through pictures of my friends with Bekah and she thinks my guy friends aren't handsome. Nicole and Kathryn say they are indifferent but I don't believe them. I think all my guy friends are amazing and HOT!

So technically, my life as a Community Advisor starts tomorrow. I am excited but in a scared timid sort of way. This is like what I want to do the rest of my life. I hope that 1. I am good at it and 2. it is not as hard as it sounds. Oh and 3. I enjoy it.

I did the total of my books for this semester and with renting and buying used ones it comes to a whopping 696.50....DOLLARS. I about pooed in my pants!! That's a lot. I looked on the othersites....around the same amount for each one.

I decided that it is time for me to start eating healthy. I won't become a calorie counter BUT I am going to become more restricted of what I eat. I've always admired people who don't eat candy or turn down free food. I need to learn how to have that mindset. I do not need the mini snickers bar or the peanut butter m&ms. I work out way too much too waste it on something like that.

Plus, my french fry avoidance failed. Yes, failed. This is unacceptable. My uncle had a heart attack at 34. I do not want that to be me. So Hannah starts a new leaf with food this year. Put food in to my mouth that taste good and are good.

I had a long time to think about Anthony and I. After Monday, I was so glad to see him and we had a lot of fun. I remembered what I liked about him. Wednesday night rolled around and I realized that why was I so happy to see him? what did I gain from driving two hours and staying the night? (Besides fun...and I did have fun!) I still liked him, I still like him a lot. And spending all that time with him, made me realize that.

I was really freaking out, so I texted Nick. He attempted to calm me down with a "you'll get over it."

What if I don't and Anthony does? What if we're stuck in this limbo sort of phase forever?

Then this, I came to the conclusion that "this is enough. you need to cut strings. you need to get rid of him. this isn't healthy."

Then I thought about that for a long time while I was driving back home. Am I really this impatient? I can not wait and see what happens? Why does everything for me have to be this or that? Why can't it be grey?

I realized that yes, I am a control freak and yes, I do like direction in my life.

But Anthony is different. And as he pointed out to me, today, this is his first real relationship...

I'm too quick to label things. I always forget guys like to just lean in to things and see how it all plays out. Girls usually like to dive head first before looking to see if there is any water in the relationship. Sometimes, they crack their head open. Several times, I have cracked my head open. You think that would help us learn....

So once again, I am stepping back and taking a breathe. I know what I want. I want him in my life. I would be devastated if I scared him away.

I also know I want to do well at school. Boys are distractions...school is in two weeks. I need to concentrate on doing well...not whether or not we are or we aren't together.

That's all I am going to say about that for now. I am super tired and I can not wait to move in to my new home tomorrow! Thanks for reading.

Wordless Wednesdays

I know it has words...shhhhhh

Monday and other things

My last Monday of summer was spent with a very good friend of mine-Superman. I owed him a few visits because he came and visited me at home (three hours away from his own home) while we were dating. I had Monday off and he was done with fair stuff, so it was perfect timing.

It is important to say that I still have feelings for him, as he still has feelings for me. I was going to meet his whole family for the first time. (I have met his parents for a brief second at the end of the school year.) I was really nervous, they didn't know we dated, though they probably assumed, but nonetheless, this was a big step for him whether he realizes it or not.

After finally begging him to check out mapquest and making sure that the directions were in order,(They weren't they do not have all the roads I could take to his house. But he fixed it by sending me the directions). I got ready to go. My original plan was to get up at 6 and leave by 7am to head to his house.

I didn't get up by 6 and I didn't head off until 7:45. It was okay though because I still got there earlyish.

After I got off 94 I worried about finding his house. But it was surprising simple. It was sort of out of a horror type movie because it was foggy, the land was hilly and the roads were curvy. I missed one of the last turns and I ended up being lost for a little bit, but I figured it out. It was such a pretty area.

When I got there, he had no idea what to do. We were going to play softball with his rec group but it was canceled. So I got a "tour" of his land, I also saw very cute kitties.

It was good seeing him again. I was sad I could only stay until 2pm at the latest because I had to go home and see Bailey for the last time this summer. As we were trying to figure out what to do in that little time, Bailey texted me saying she was in Ohio with family and obviously was not able to come to cloud for the night.

So we planned to have lunch and to hang out in Alexandria for the afternoon. We went to Doolittles Woodfire Grill and both of us were very undressed. We had really good wings as an appetizer and I had fish and chips for my entree. I think he had a Reuben for his.

We decided to go to the mall and just enjoy the air conditioning. That was okay. Then I was like, hey I have a great idea, lets look for the futon I want for my dorm. So we ended up checking sears-no luck and big kmart-luck! I found three selections! I checked to make sure that it would have it at the Kmart in Cloudtown. Then we checked out Walmart for the selection. Thank goodness it had little to none.

We went to Target to pick up a few things I knew I needed for my dorm room. It looked like Anthony was having a heatstroke and I was getting worried. He laid down on the couch at Target (got a few weird looks but thats okay) and fell asleep. He got up and was like ready to go three minutes later. I have no idea how he does that.

After Target we decided to go back to his place and then I could leave. However, we decided we wanted to go hiking up Inspiration Peak instead. It was one of the most beautiful spots I have ever seen. Just breathtaking, it was so much fun. I still have bug bites from it though.

When we got back, Superman didn't want to do chores, so we decided to play a board game with his two youngest siblings. Sadly, I lost. No, I was massacred. They played like superspeed and I couldn't keep up.

Sooo pretty much I ended up not leaving until the next morning. Which was fine by me, we slept in the cool basement. It was nice seeing him again.

When I drove home, Kenny Chesney "My Tractor turns me on" was playing. When I was only a few miles away, there was a straight line of geese along the road. I thought about turning back and just dropping out and living there with Superman.

Overall, it was a great monday and it reminded me of how much I like him. I wish I could put more detail in this story because it was a wonderful "vacation".

Now I have one more class and I am done with Summer classes. Afterwards I head up to my cabin to see my extended family from Richmond, Virginia. I am super excited. We head back to P-town on Saturday and then they are helping me move back up to Cloud on Sunday.

I am really excited to be a CA next year and I am excited to see my friends again!

MY MONDAY

was awesome!! Pictures and story to come!

So much too do, so little time.

Thought I should update my blog with my to-do list so I remember what I need to do this week, school-wise. haha

• Sexual Harassment website and PRINT IT!
• Final for my online class
• prepare for online chapter 8 test
• Chapter 8 Test and Extra Credit
• Chapter 9 Extra Credit
• study for philosophy final
• get things for my room/clean my room now.

Hopefully I don't remember more. I hope to take the online test for chapter 8 by tuesday morning and finish up the extra credit on tuesday and wednesday nights.

The printer didn't work when I took the sexual harassment test the first time and I am not so happy about that. oh well. I will try again

And I still have my target job. Yippee!