Hey all,

I want to take the time to thank you for checking up on me. My life has been nothing but school and work. I work out, so that's good and I do eat, so that is good too.

Right now, school is pumping me up the butt. That was the grossest thing I have ever said but it is sooo fitting. I feel so overwhelmed with school, I do not even want to think about how my goal was to get an A in both these classes. I do not think that is going to happen. I'll keep trying though. Because if I try as hard as I can, I will pass and get the grade I deserve.

Sunday, I woke up sobbing. Yes sobbing. It was not because someone had died in my dream. It was because I did not get yet another thing I tried so hard to receive.

I have a whole hand full of failures and I love it! I can't believe I just said that. But I do. Who else can say they have tried for x, y, z and a, b, c and have lived from not getting d, e and f! I can! Who else can bounce back as quick as a cheetah and start planning their next 'kill'? I can! And who will keep going despite the setbacks....I will. Because that is who I am, I am a bouncer and I will SUCCEED at doing something one day. I just need to find that thing to succeed at.

And I might be looking at this all wrong. Maybe what I need to be looking at succeeding at something completely different. So I am trying to be a good girlfriend, a great student, a wonderful friend, a caring citizen...anything else? Daughter, sister, family member....all of those too.

So that's what I am. I'm not a quitter. I don't give up and I strive for excellence.

Yes, I get down and yes, I wish that I had the capabilities to do whatever I want and get whatever I want, but here is the deal. My grandma told me I have two choices in life, to cry or to laugh. And who wants to be miserable? I obviously don't otherwise why would I be trying. So most the times I choose laughing.

Disappointment makes you a better person. Letdowns make you a better person. You never hear about how getting what you want makes you a better person.

Yeah, that's right. I said it.

And okay, I may be being a little sarcastic and sometimes I don't 100 percent believe what I just said up there at all times. But being sarcastic and somewhat cynical is better than being bitter, miserable and ridiculously unhappy.

Because I was called Happy Hannah and I shall stay Happy Hannah.