I was going to call this "Boyfriend", instead I will call it "stupidity"

I've just been so giddy all night. Unable to do my homework. I think it was the M&Ms I grabbed at the grad party after I ate ALL THAT DELICIOUS INDIAN FOOD. Good Work Mamta! You graduated!!! Thanks for the food.

But really, really, really I am not here to talk to you about DELICIOUS INDIAN FOOD. Though it was grand. Grand, who uses that word nowadays? I do. It is my word of the summer: GRAND.

Okay. So, I am changing the subject...now. For those of you who didn't read my old blog OR haven't really figured out yet, I met a really really really really really good guy.

...A few events happened here, I will not get in to because it is not that important....

That's when I realized, this life thing. I was going about it all wrong. In a few ways.

1. Now I have always been a little sexual. I make sexual jokes, I talk about penises way too much for a normal person (every one looks different! I swear!!!!)

2. Add that to the fact that I am comfortable with changing in front of a million people (if I do not change in front of you it is a bad thing...or I am on my period).

3. And the fact that I wanted to see if I was over my ex or not, so I was a little desperate for a date. I said a little, I wasn't throwing myself at everyone....not quite yet, at least.

For the record, number one and two, that is me. But I needed to tone it down a little because I was giving a lot of people a wrong impression of me.

AND I was letting guys use me. I was becoming a bit of a slut. Making out with guys because they were "hot". Most of them had girlfriends. I had this idea that I was doing them a favor (I absolutely hate when people are in pain and blueballs sounds horribly painful...).

I was becoming someone I had never wanted to become. I knew this, but kept heading in that direction anyway.

But then I met him. (I'm praying to God right now that he doesn't read this and overreact. I am leaving your name out, ok? )

I call him "my superman" because he gave me the push I needed to get out of this cycle of abuse I was putting myself through.

I signed a contract with my roomie earlier this year that said that I would wait until marriage to have sex again. I broke it, with in a week.

Yes, I felt bad, no, horrible. I had let my best friend down for a BOY. A boy I didn't even like that much. This needed to stop. It didn't take long, I met him a month after I signed the contract. Three weeks after breaking it for the last time.

After Superman came in to my life, I felt the need to keep that contract. Not just because of him, not just because of my roommate/best friend. But because I made a promise.

What's with me and these somewhat depressing posts? I am stopping here for the night. I wanted this to be a giddy, I heart him post.

Anyway, he's been great! He is so good to me. He always knows the right thing to say and he says it. I am really glad and thankful I met him. I was really looking for a curve to my life and he helped me find it. He is probably reading this and being like, holy fuck, if I mess this up, I am going to be a douche. haha. I don't know, don't be a douche and you won't mess it up! Stay. the. same. I never thought I would deserve a guy this great and this understanding. I never thought I would find a guy that would try to understand why I did what I did and forgive me for the mistakes in my past. But I did.

Oh and sorry Mamta, I sort of dedicated this to you and then kept writing this terribly somewhat depressing post. :( Congratulations?!?!?!?!