Facebook Challenge

I MADE IT THROUGH 24 HOURS!!

It feels awesome.

Facebook Challenge: Hour 16ish

This is horrible!! For those of you with out a Facebook addiction, this is painful. Every single time I check my email, I start typing "fac-" NO! I have to tell myself NO! It is actually really sad.

I guess it became a habit. Check my Facebook and check other peoples Facebooks and then move on to business. Ten minutes later, repeat. It's only been 16-17 hours and I want to check it. What am I missing? What if someone wrote on my wall? What if someone needs me? Do I have any friend requests? What so and so doing? Whose is she dating? Oh, wow, I wonder if he has a brother. Repeat.

Well. Back to the real world.

My Facebook Challenge

I realized today that Facebook has been a part of my daily routine since sophomore year in high school.

This is upsetting.

So with no conversation with friends, nothing. I am not going on Facebook for six months.

Think I can do it? No, me neither.

I gave it up today, September 21st 2010 at 4:30pm.

I can not go on until March 22nd 2011 at 5:30pm.

I won't even go on it if I start looking at internships to 'clean up'. I will ask a friend, hey can you do me a favor? And I will give that friend my password and tell that friend to update my facebook so it is clean! :) If I remember my password, haha.

My goals of this challenge is to:

1. Get less dependent of technology.

2. Get less dependent off facebook.

3. Clear up my time.

4. Make facebook a non-daily thing and a weekly or even monthly thing.

5. Whatever other goals I discover on the way.

It's been a hard six hours. But I am working through it. =] I think I will make it. This is going to be a good break!

I think I covered everything.

In All Seriousness

Being single is hard.

Don't get me wrong, I do not want a boyfriend, at least not right now. I'm too busy and wouldn't have time for him. But can't a girl complain once and awhile? I mean, it's not easy being in a relationship, but it is not easy being single neither.

It's been a little over a year since my ex and I split. And it has been a wonderful year of being alone(and not so alone) . But I am a little restless and a little mad.

When I look back on the year and all the "failed" relationships, yeah, I get angry. These boys (most of them anyway) are using me and I am not doing anything to stop it. What am I doing wrong?

People always tell me, "it's not you, Hannah, it's them." And I say, "yeah, I know." I'm lying. I know I have trust issues (as in I trust too much) and no issues (as in I can't say it) and guilt issues (as in I feel bad for people). I get hurt a lot for those issues. It would be nice to have one guy just stick, so I wouldn't have to deal with this heartbreak.

I'm kind of scared. Kind of...no. Am...yes. I have a fear that I am going to help people that aren't grateful of my help. I am going to trust people that misuse that trust. I am going to say yes and not be actually willing to do anything. I am going to feel bad for those people and keep doing those actions anyway.

I realized...today...that I want to be appreciated. I want to be loved, to feel loved, to feel needed. But I also want that person that treats me like a princess (because I am one), that takes care of me (when I can't take care of myself), that wakes me up in the morning. But I don't necessarily want to have to do the work to get that person.

So I am happy, but I am restless. I am in this mood where I don't want to have a boyfriend, but ehhhh, it would be nice to have one.

I just think my emotional side would be less drained if I had one. Does that make any sense?

I know relationships don't last forever. I know that. I have been through that plenty of times. I want a guy to make me feel pretty when my confidence isn't up all the way, a guy to kiss me when I feel completely disasterous.

For the most part, I want a guy that will let me live my life, but act as vice-president once and awhile. I feel bad asking for a business deal boyfriend. But sometimes those are best.

Deleting My Facebook

Yep. Soon. As soon as I figure out how to back up my pictures and everything. It is gone!

Today.

My life has done a complete 180 turn...AGAIN!

Let's just say I am a little more positive today then I was even only 24 hours ago. I decided that if I try to forget about the little bad events that make me unhappy, then I can be happy. Although I am still dealing with my problems on my own time, I am trying not to bring people down with my slippery slope of ups and downs this past month.

But anyway, today I went to the Twins Game with the Honors Club. I was really upset last year when I didn't get my position on the E-Board but it is all for the best. I am the VP of German Club, an Officer for Quidditch Club AND I am trying to be the best FRIEND anyone could ever have. I think I am doing an okay job on that last one!

But anyway, back to my day. It was my friends Bailey's birthday. Below is Bailey.

And Veronica decided to come to the Twins Game with me. Below is Veronica.

So the two girls that are amazing to me! Along with hot Robert and Ben all got on the Voigt Buses and headed off to Minneapolis.

The Target Field is AMAZING! It is breathtaking! Wonderful! It is so much better in real life then in the pictures I have seen! I spent so much money on food, a poster of Joe Mauer and a Twins' T-shirt. But it was so worth it!

More and more everyday I learn to love my body. It is beautiful! I love my curves and small waist and everything else! I wouldn't change a thing. I do like to complain about my boobs though!

I'm gonna end it there, because I still have some homework to do for tomorrow. :) I'm so glad I am happy again!!

Brent's Blog

Hey (lack of) Followers,

http://sproutingsouls.blogspot.com/

This is my friends Brent's blog. He wants some more views!! :) He is a nice and fun guy, so it is definitely worth a check!

-Hannah

Just Some Quotes

We're having too good of time today, we ain't thinking about tommorrow-John Dilligner

Spain doesnt speak spanish....oh wait yes they do, that's where it came from-Nick Ferguson

Grandpa Ruder (on hard work): Having fun is more fun, but it never works out well.

I never had to back out of a conflict because of a boner. -Nick Ferguson

Frau Mueller: Do not underestimate what you have. !

Elizabeth Rother: Hannah, it is really inappropriate that you smell your buttcrack in the bathroom when you think no one is looking.

Stephanie(talking about her bad mood): We can have that crazy lesbian sex ,that's fine.

Me: I don't dance like a whore. My vagina is not for sale.

Eric Hines: Just don't be anyones fleshy blow up doll.

Stephanie Hendrickx: Just assuming everything is a lie...

Denin Oliver: You can not complain if you do not do anything about it to change it.

It's like Napoleon Dynamite on crack.

Rachel: Hannah would treat me differently if I was special.

Rebekah: Auntie Mary, like...don't. go. on. waves.

Grandma Daniels: You have a choice. To cry or to laugh. So what are you going to do? You are going to laugh.

Paul Hummon: wait a second, let me get this straight. You do not want boobs AND you do not want to be blonde. Do you not want to attract guys? (I love you bro)

Anthony Schwartz: I LOVE FLEET FARM. It has everything you need, except for basic life necessities.

Anthony about a woman smoking: that disgusts me!

Me: That turned me on. That's hot.

Always do what you are afraid to do.

The Joker: I believe... that what doesn't kill you makes you....stranger.

I have no faith in men anymore.

What am I doing wrong?

Helping

People will always use me. And I will always let them.

I can't change who I am because people are greedy and mean. I can't stop what I am good at doing because some people don't deserve it. Because some people do. And I can't be picky when I help people.

I recently realized that I am a too trusting individual. I trust everyone I meet and usually stay trusting after they break it. Why? Who knows? Is it because I have some kind of faith in humanity? Or is it because I want to hurt myself?

It hurts when someone you trust betrays you. There is really nothing you can do about it. Accept it and move on. I am not going to let a few people ruin my trust for other people. Those people that ruined it can suck it, I don't respect you anymore. Get over yourself.

Other than that betrayal, I have been working hard trying to be a 'good' Community Advisor. I think I am succeeding.

Next week, I start getting in to the swing of things. Working out everyday! (YES EVERYDAY!) Doing my homework on time. This weekend I need to catch up on homework. Tonight I need to catch up on homework. It's been a stressful few weeks.

Frustrated.

Why do you do this to me? Why?

What did I do to you?

Whatever it was, I am so sorry. Really I am. I must of been horrible. For you to tell all my secrets to a stranger, to try to ruin my relationship with a guy I really liked and still like, to air my insecurities like they weren't a big deal, to blow little things in to huge proportions, to make me feel so guilty about my life choices that didn't match with yours.

I don't know what to say. Except that I am sorry for the things I said or did to make you act like this. To make you sad or upset enough to make me sad or upset enough.

I hope you got your revenge and you can be happy now.

Life Lessons

I've discovered who I was last year.

I'm thankful I am stable.

I'm confident.

Went through heartbreak last year that ended badly.

Went through heartbreak last year that didn't end badly.

I'm friends with an ex. I'm not friends with an ex.

I don't have just one best friend.

I learned what I need to do to stay happy.

I'm healthy.

...

I know who I am.

I see people in their good side.

I am trusting.

The only person whose flaws I can see and judge on is myself.

I discover something new about myself everyday.

...

I don't cry anymore.

I'm happy.

I have political views.

I can see things that others can not.

...

:)