and oh goodness, it hurt. I followed him out of curiosity. He's only had it for a month.
I feel like all of it was a lie. Every single moment we had was false. He talks to people he told me he disliked, even hated. In fact, he is NICE to them.
I blame myself for the failure of the friendship. I should have said 'no'. I knew if we did anything and it turned out being a 'wrong decision', he would never hang out with me again.
I was right.
Not only did he use me, but he scarred me. Yep. I'll admit it. I will never be the same girl. I'm dating a wonderful guy and I can't fall for him. I just can't. I like him, I care for him, and everything is right. Except for the fact that I CAN'T LOVE HIM. I was so naive, and I trusted one guy too much with my heart. I should have been able to trust him, he was my friend.
It's still a fresh wound, I guess. Just when I think I get over 'it', something happens and my 'everything right' life doesn't feel right.
At least I am happy again and I feel like myself again. That's the nice thing.
(I mean this is no way shape or form hurtful to the ex-friend. This was a way for me to just share my frustrations, I wish him happiness, and if he, upon reading or hearing about this post, decides he doesn't want it here, I will delete it upon his request. People make mistakes all the time, my reactions and emotions are valid, as are his.)
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