Over it

I really do not know how boys could be so stupid.

ughhh. okay, I know this post and the last post are like minutes apart but I thought they should be separated.

These are two different feelings about two different men in my life.

I expected an apology. But I really don't think he knew how much he hurt me. I don't think he knew that he hurt me. period.

Which is why, I guess, I do not need an apology. Really. Maybe it was my fault for being hurt and yes, it probably was.

I am happy with the friendship we have and I can put the past in the past. But it was really really really hard to get over him. romantically. And I am very jealous of the girls who get to hang out with him.

Sad? Yes, I am pathetic. But whatever. I was just like this is it, this is it, this is it. And then, nothing. So I was a little let down.

I guess I am a little bit flattered at the same time. He sees me as a friend and a strong person that doesn't let anything or anyone get her down.

Which I guess is a compliment. Really. I liked to be viewed as a strong woman. And I am a strong woman...most of the time. But I still get hurt.

I mean, most guys are oblivious, I don't know why I expected him to be different. I just thought he saw the world better and at a different angle then most guys. But I guess I just had high hopes for him.

I am not mad. I just realized how little and how much I meant to him. I mean, romantically, I am nothing. But friendship wise, I am something to him.

And I discovered I would rather be his friend then bring up the old stuff and get his apology.

But I still like him "like that". It is upsetting to me that I do. Oh well.