Perfect Man Criteria: Protection

Although this is a manly level scale, I find it quite helpful! (Thanks, Bailey Hess and Megan Vogel!)

Women do not need men to fight off bears or slay dragons. In fact, most woman can do that themselves nowadays.

This is probably a good criteria to have, boys. We want to feel safe or that you have our backs. Even if your girlfriend is a black belt, she still wants to feel safe with you. So do not even think to say, well, my girlfriend does karate, so I do not need to fit this criteria. NOOOO. What is wrong with you? This is necessary!

This includes:

• getting up at three am to drive us home from "dark places"
• putting your arm around us during scary movies but not feeling us up
• holding us when we cry, even for what you think are the stupidest reasons.

You do not have to be a good physical shape to protect your woman. No. I repeat, good physical shape is not necessary to protect us. It wouldn't hurt but it is not a CRITERIA.

So when you are out on the town with her,

• do not talk to "scary-looking" people you do not know
• Do not make her sit in the car alone, in the dark, while you disappear to do god knows what for five minutes. Take her with you, or, better yet, save your errands for later.
• Avoid frightening her when you are alone. Group scares are always fun, if she is worth it she will laugh at that. If you are alone with her and you scare her, she'll either start crying or be very angry at you.
• Do not pretend that you are the big man and are going to scare everybody else with your tough guy. You just look stupid, act like yourself, you aren't impressing anyone, you are just embarrassing her.

I would like to add on the embarrassing her part. Protecting her may not always be physically. If she walks out of the bathroom with toilet paper strolling from her shoe, don't ignore it, try to take it off(with your own shoe!) or tell her, "Hey honey, be careful where you walk in the bathroom next time." Or if there is food stuck in her teeth. Be calm, act like it is no big deal and say to her quietly that their is food in her teeth. If you get grossed out and don't want to see her picking her mouth, add that you will wait for her while she "fixes" it in the bathroom. It's no big deal, but a girl likes to look nice and either of these things would ruin her night. (How long did I have that thing trailing after me? He must think I am an idiot and don't know how to eat...)

I have successfully found criteria one of being a Perfect Man: sense of protection.

Thanks again to my lovely friend Bailey Hess and her partner in not so much crime-Megan Vogel for the creative way to be manly!!! Now go save your woman!!! Or thank your man!!!